Comments on: Investigating Domestic Violence Strangulation: Lethality

By: Aaron

Aaron — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 07:49:49 +0000

Chloe,

I am a law enforcement officer in the midwest, but you can use this information in your specific area of the country.

First and foremost – get and stay away from this abuser. Do what you must to protect yourself. Regardless of the reasons he is abusive, his actions towards you are in deed homicidal. It is terrible enough to be beaten by someone close to you, but to be tied up, choked, and have socks shoved in your mouth is in a whole different arena of evil. You must consider yourself in the gravest of danger and take every step possible to secure your safety. You’ve had at least two close calls with death – you will probably not survive a third!

Second – report these crimes to your police. Even if it has been some time since the last attack, the crimes described are felonies and can still be prosecuted years after the actual attack. Although you feel “too embarrassed/ashamed/humiliated” about what happened you must realize that nobody deserves to be treated that way, and the police want to help you get out of that situation. If allowed through continued contact, the abuser often continues to increase violence as a means of controlling the victim. Your report to the police will enable you and help take away some of the abuser’s power over you, hold him accountable for his crimes, and maybe protect the next woman.

The police can also refer you to women’s shelters, counselors, medical attention, and provide you information on obtaining a protection order – sometimes immediately when emergency circumstances exist. Although a protection order is NOT a guarantee of your safety, it provides police a much greater ability to arrest the abuser for any violations of the order – even if he doesn’t actually physically assault you.

Seek out women’s shelters in your area. Look on the internet or in the phone book under “women’s shelters”, “domestic violence shelters”, or “abuse shelters”.

Many shelters are Federally funded, and should be within driving distance of where you are. Even if you choose not to stay at the shelter, the employees are well prepared to offer you assistance, guidance, counseling and other services to get you through this situation. You are NOT alone! There are many trained professionals ready to assist you.

Seek out medical and mental health professionals. You may still have physical injuries that need attention, but you surely will have psychology scars from the terror you’ve experienced. Sometimes the emotional injuries take longer to surface, and become even more destructive than the physical injuries.

Good luck and God’s speed. Get away from him, get help, and LIVE!

By: Chloe

Chloe — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:35:57 +0000

My boyfriend has strangled me about 4-5 times. After reading this I realize on one occasion he did some serious damage because my throat was sore and I had difficulty swallowing for about 2 weeks after. I went to the emergency room complaining of a sore throat and they told me I also had a ruptured ear drum probably the result of him punching me on the side of the face. I think he is “toying” with the idea of killing me. Over Christmas he tied my hands behind my back and shoved a sock in my mouth. He covered my nose with his hands and raped me. He threatened to put a pillow case over my head and then went to the bathroom for a shower. While he was in the bathroom taking a shower I managed to free my hands. We were staying at a hotel so I grabbed some clothes and ran down to the lobby. I contemplated calling the police, but was too embarrassed/ashamed/humiliated. It was Christmas night so the hotel was pretty empty and I stayed on one of the lobby couches for about 2 hours before he convinced me to go back to our room. About 2 days later we got into another argument and this time I was convinced he was going to kill me. I screamed for my life and he ran out of our hotel room. He left me with a bloody nose and what I believe was possibly a fractured rib. We are no longer together, but I wonder sometimes if he will stalk and try and kill me. I am sad beyond belief and was wondering if anyone knew of any domestic violence counseling resources?

By: Richard

Richard — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:10:19 +0000

Gwen –

You should contact your local law enforcement agency and make a report. The officers that respond should be able to provide you with information on everything from protection orders to the self defense laws in your state. There is likely a victim advocate with your local law enforcement agency or prosecutor’s office. I would suggest talking to them also.

Good luck,

Richard

By: Gwen

Gwen — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:54:56 +0000

I was strangled by my live in boyfriend and I did’nt report it. This happen to me on Saturday night and now it’s Monday night and I’m feeling like I should had reported it. I have a female friend staying with me now because I don’t know if he will try to come back. Please help me.

By: Investigating Domestic Violence Strangulation: What is It and How to Recognize It :: Blue Sheepdog

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 21:43:25 +0000

[...] DV Strangulation – Lethality [...]

By: Judy Bruton

Judy Bruton — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 21:16:06 +0000

Leslie,what state are you in, I am also a DV survivor he used strangulation to try and kill me. I am VERY intrested in the bill in your state. can you post more info?

Thank you.
~Judy in Texas

By: Leslie Sudak

Leslie Sudak — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 02:35:52 +0000

Interesting, as a victim of strangulation assault, and as a medical speech pathologist, with this area of the anatomy as my professional domain.

My state is now voting on passage of a Felony Assault by Strangulation bill, passed before subcommittee yesterday.

Thank you for the information.

By: Gary Freedman

Gary Freedman — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:20:28 +0000

Very frightening material.